My body feels like it’s working against me—now what?
Maybe it needs a little compassion (guided meditation inside!)
My Body is Working Against Me
I’m willing to bet that at some point, everyone has felt this way—whether due to an injury, a stubborn flu, or even the natural shifts that come with aging. For those living with chronic illness or prolonged health challenges, this feeling can be even more persistent. I know I’ve been there.
During the early days of living with fibromyalgia, I would get completely exhausted after taking a shower and would need to rest. Washing my hair became so painful and draining that I eventually had to ask others for help.
When our capacity is lowered, sometimes we need to scale back and emphasize pacing. But at the time, it felt like I was losing control—like my body had turned against me.
Every flare filled me with frustration at my body for not cooperating, making me miss out, and forcing me to adjust in ways I didn’t want to. Ironically, that stress only made things worse. I started to believe that fibromyalgia would always define my quality of life and goals—but was that really true?
Nervous system approach
Things began to shift when I started learning about the nervous system. The Windows of Tolerance (Regulation), developed by Dr. Dan Siegel, represents the optimal zone for managing emotions and stress. Chronic stress and illness can narrow this window or make it harder to return to, leading to prolonged dysregulation (the body is struggling to return to a state of balance and calm).
Many chronic illnesses, including fibromyalgia, can develop after periods of emotional and physical stress. In fibromyalgia, the nervous system can become stuck in a hyperactive (fight/flight) stress response, resulting in a cascade of symptoms
The sympathetic nervous system is the body’s stress response, designed to activate briefly in response to immediate stressors. Once the stressor is resolved, the relaxation response takes over. However, if stress persists whether from external circumstances, or internal reactions, the body remains in a heightened state. This can cause harm to both our mental and physical health.
Understanding my neurobiological limits—physical, cognitive, energetic, psychological, and emotional—was a turning point. I realized I wasn’t always respecting my capacities and often pushed myself beyond my limits. How could I be angry at my body for becoming overwhelmed when I ignored its signals?
Rather than seeing symptoms as failure or betrayal, I’m learning to view them as my body’s way of communicating its need for care and attention. It’s doing its best to keep me safe, even when it doesn’t feel comfortable.
Reframe: My Body Is Trying to Protect Me
By exploring my body’s protective mechanisms, I learned to identify triggers—some that I need to consistently avoid and others that are context-dependent (like when I’m already feeling run-down and need to be extra mindful).
I realized that instead of seeing my body as working against me, I needed to attune to its dynamic needs. This shift helped me build internal tolerance, enabling me to respond with care and respect rather than resistance to what my body is signaling.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get frustrated when my body seems to be “protecting” me a bit too much, but I try not to dwell on that feeling.
I now think of my body like a fine silk garment—it requires a little extra care.
Just like healing, pain is not linear—it’s also a subjective experience. Pain doesn’t always indicate tissue damage; instead, it’s about how the threat is perceived by our nervous system and the ongoing communication loop between the brain and body. Awareness can help prevent escalation.
For example, noticing your heart beating fast and acknowledging it as a normal response to public speaking can help you stay grounded rather than panicking. Similarly, your body’s responses may simply be a normal reaction to having its limits overridden.
Language plays a crucial role in nervous system regulation. The way we talk about pain (or any sensation) shapes not only how we perceive it but also how we see ourselves. It’s not about minimizing our experiences, but the repetitive use of certain phrasing can amplify nervous system activation and trigger stress responses.
For instance, phrases like “my pain” or “my fibromyalgia” tend to claim these sensations as part of our identity. When we stop identifying with these sensations, we create space for a healthier, more compassionate relationship with our bodies. Examples of reframing include “the pain I feel” or “the fibromyalgia symptoms I am experiencing.”
What’s helped me believe this reframing:
Knowledge is power. Learning about the nervous system and my default coping strategies has been key to building a better relationship with my body. By respecting my limits and practicing self-regulation, I’m able to expand my capacity and tolerance. This is a meaty topic, and we’ll explore it further throughout this series.
I realized that external pressures shaped many of my feelings about myself and my body. In a society focused on productivity, it can be difficult to feel satisfied with ourselves while living with chronic illness. The pressure to “push through” led me to ignore my limits in the past, resulting in burnout, worsened symptoms, and more disappointment with my body. The truth is, my body was working incredibly hard, doing its best to keep me going—and that, in itself, was productive.
If I were in a relationship where I was constantly putting someone down, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was strained or unhealthy. The same applies to how I treat myself. I practice self-compassion through tools like loving-kindness meditation and journaling to focus on what my body can do, fostering a stronger, more supportive partnership with myself.
Root & Rise practices:
Understanding your limits:
Knowing your limits in different areas helps you choose goals and activities that align with your capacity, keeping you within your Window of Tolerance. This allows you to meet your body where it is without overwhelming it. Practicing self-compassion becomes much harder when you’re consistently disappointed by unrealistic expectations you’ve set.
Grab a notebook and pen, and reflect on the last few weeks:
Physical: How much physical activity can my body handle before exacerbating symptoms (e.g., pain)?
Cognitive: How long can I focus on a task before mental fatigue or brain fog sets in?
Energetic: How long can I work productively before I need a significant rest?
Psychological: How much stress can I handle without becoming overwhelmed or experiencing a flare?
Emotional: How long can I manage conflict or challenging situations before becoming emotionally dysregulated or reactive?
Energetic: How long can you work productively before you need a significant rest?
For example, when I’m passionate about something, I can sit for hours, forgetting to eat or stretch (hello neurodiversity!). I then end up exhausted, unable to do even simple tasks like cooking a meal. That’s not my body letting me down, that’s me ignoring my energetic limits
Gratitude for What My Body Can Do:
Each day, take a moment to thank your body for something it does well—no matter how simple, even if it’s just breathing. Some people enjoy keeping a gratitude journal, writing down a few things they are grateful for each morning. Shifting your focus from what's "wrong" to what's working can help you build a gentler relationship with your body.
Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta):
If gratitude feels disingenuous when you're not feeling well, that's totally valid. A Loving-Kindness Meditation might be a more nurturing practice during those times.
Loving-kindness meditations are about offering well-wishes to yourself, which differ from affirmations like "I am strong and capable." While affirmations can be helpful when we're feeling regulated and well-resourced, they can feel incongruent if they don't align with our current reality
Loving kindness is not about sugarcoating your experience—it's about wishing yourself and others a bit more sweetness.
To practice:
Find a Comfortable Space: Sit or lie down in a quiet spot where you can relax without distractions. You might prefer to use earphones.
Follow the Guided Recording: I’ve included a recorded Loving-Kindness practice here:
If you try these practices and would like to share your experience, I’d love to hear from you.
Lastly, a final self-reflection: Our survival brain is our ultimate protector. It holds onto limiting beliefs to shield us from potential pain and suffering.
Ask yourself: Does believing my body is working against me actually keep me safe?
Gentle hug,
Caitlin
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